your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
