I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
