So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
