Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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