If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
