Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
