hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
