I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
