i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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