White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
