ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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