can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
