you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
