I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
