the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
