I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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