I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We have started to decorate penises.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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