The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I am one with the molecules
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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