As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
