Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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