Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
