Me. At least after what I've been through.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
