She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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