He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
