I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
