Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
