I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
