what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
