Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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