All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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