im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
