i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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