a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
