If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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