I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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