i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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