Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
