dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
