dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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