i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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