Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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