I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
