He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
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