u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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