At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
