when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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