Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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