you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
