It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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