I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
